February, 2013, Posting Contest Winners Announced

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head all went to an antique store and saw a beautiful old mirror.
The lady working at the store said, "This is a magic mirror. You must say something true. And if it's true, your wish will come true. If it's not true, you will disappear."

The blonde, red head, and brunette decided to buy the mirror, and brought it home with them. First the red head walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world." Poof, she vanished. Then the brunette walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world." Poof, she disappeared. Then the blonde walked up to the mirror and said, "I think ... " Then Poof, she disappeared.

LMAOOOOOO

A hippy with a bicycle that has a broken chain walks on the side of a road.

A man in a Porsche pulls up next to him and offers him a ride. They try to fit the hippy's bike into the trunk of the man's Porche, but as it is a typical sports car, the trunk is too small for the bike. Then the man has an idea. He says to the hippy, "I have some rope in my trunk, you can tie it to your bike and I'll drive you along. If I'm going to fast, just honk the horn on your bike." The hippy agrees to go along with it and they ride a few miles down the rode. The man in the Porsche pulls up to a stop light next a man in a Lamborghini. They start revving their engine and a race is about to ensue. The light turns green and the man in the Porsche completely forgets about the hippy tied to his car and starts racing the Lamborghini. They're racing and start reaching 80, 90, 100 m.p.h. They pass a cop and when the cop calls the race in he says, "Dispatch you'll never believe what I just saw. I saw a Porsche and a Lamborghini racing down the road at 100 miles per hour, and a hippy on a bike honking his horn trying to pass them."

The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Without much of a choice, the chauffeur climbed in the back of the limo and the Pope took the wheel.

After gleefully accelerating to about 90 mph, the Pope was pulled over by the State Patrol. The trooper came to his window, took a look inside, and said, "Just a moment, please. I need to call in."

The trooper called in and asked for the chief. He told the chief, "I've got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do."

The chief replied, "Who is it? A senator?"

The trooper said, "No, even more important."

The chief asked, "It's the Governor, isn't it?"

"No. More important."

"The President?"

"No. More important."

"Well, Who the heck is it?!," screams the chief.

"I don't know," said the trooper. "But he's got the Pope as a chauffeur."

Didn't you hear about the midget gypsy that robbed a bank in broad daylight and made good on his getaway?
Next day the news read, "Small medium at large!"

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?


He was to chicken.

I met an older woman at a bar last night.

She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and bullsh*tted a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had a mother and daughter threesome?

I said no.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

I went back to her place.

She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:

"Mom you still awake?"

LOL cam

What do you call a deer with no eyes?


No idear

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Hello Crushers, I am very sorry about the lateness in posting winners.

I'd like to thank everyone that posted a joke this month!!! It was a great time for me!!! Thank you all for helping us build up our post count, it really does mean a lot to us!!! We had 383 posts

Here are our random prize winners:

Congratulations Valeria, Gloria, Nono, Scott, Carrie and kellbrnt Enjoy your winnings

Hi,


Woohoo congrats Valeria, Gloria, Nono, Sayr, Carrie & Kell..Enjoy your winnings..

SC

Congrats ev1.Enjoy!!!

woohoooo ty!
WTG Val, Gloria, Sayr, Cam and Kell
Joke posting is one of my fav contests, Thanks for doing it OC

ty! WTG valeria, gjr1961, Nono, sayr811, and cam.
this one was lots of fun.

WTG valeria , Gloria , nono , sayr811 , cam and kelnbrt