Roflmaoooo Contest Closed Winners Announced

ID Error


I was having trouble with my computer so I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?'

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'

'No,' I replied.

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like the little poo.

i love reading your posts u guys...thank you....marlene

I know when i'm drunk

A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."

Magical dancing duck

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

What do you say when a dog runs away?
Dog-gone!
Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?
A hobby horse
How do you make anti-freeze?
Take away her blanket
What do you call joke told by a duck?
A wise quack.
What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?
Nacho-cheese!
what's an archeologist?
someone whose career is in ruins
what happens when two snails fight?
they slug it out
what's the strongest bird?
a crane

I love reading all these gems. Here's another one.


Contrary to popular opinion, duct tape IS NOT good for fixing everything!


Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He
walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "You know
that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an
erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up,
"I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried
I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped "it" to my
leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show".

"Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang
her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

"I kicked her in the face."

So, here's the story. . .



Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........

the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene.. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.


The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...





(You're going to hate me for this ... )






'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'

Dear Crushers, I would sincerely like to thank everyone that posted in this contest!!! I love to laugh and you have provided me with many of them. I wish I could give you all a prize!!!

Everyone that made a post had their names placed into my tupperware bowl and Barry drew out the 2 winning names.

WTG Nono and AJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOHOOOOO Thanks OC and thanks to your lovely assistant Barry too! WTG AJ, enjoy and continued good luck!

~Nono

WTGoooooooooooooooo You TWO!!

Congrats Aj & Nono

Congrats ajsandiego and NonoNanette, WTG ! Thanks for the contest CC and to all who made me laugh. I think this should be a monthly contest.
We all need to laugh and ease our tension during these stressful times.

WTG AJ and NONO