Roflmao Contest Closed Winner Announced

Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you, so the next day I stopped smoking. Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you, so the next day I stopped eating red meat. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you, so the next day I stopped drinking. Three days ago, I heard that using a cell phone can kill you, so I stopped using my cell phone. Yesterday, I read that having sex can kill you, so this morning I stopped reading.

~Nono

roflmaoooooo Crushers you are absolutely wonderful!!! I've read and re-read these jokes and they are fantastic!!! (yes I'm naturally blonde so sometimes I have to do things twice LOL)

Any way, there is no way of picking out the best joke so I've decided to change the contest a little LOL. Hope you don't mind. I've decided on the days that are outlined, everyone that has submitted a joke will be put into a random drawing. After a winner is declared, that person will be uneligible for another random drawing until the very last day which will be July 29th. At that time, for every joke you post you will get 1 entry into the final random drawing. (if you have 2 jokes in 1 post that will be counted as 2 jokes so 2 entries.)

Hope that is ok with everyone. I honestly can't think of a fairer way, these jokes are too good to pick just one!

I have messed up and the winner should of been pulled yesterday LOL. So with that in mind our first winner is jokester:






RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush
RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush
RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush
RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush
RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush...RoyalBlush





Congratulations RoyalBlush, your Neteller will be credited within 10 days.

Please keep your jokes coming, remember 1 joke = 1 entry into the final random drawing on July 29th, 2 jokes = 2 entries, so all you jokesters lets see what you've got!

Good Luck Crushers!

Happy Gaming Always!

OrangeCrush

Congrats Royal!! Enjoy your win and please turn it into something big and come back and tell us about it

~Nono

NOTE BEFORE READING THIS JOKE: I, royalblush, am 100% unprejudiced against any individual or group ofindividuals! and I try to be 100% nonjudgemental of same! REASON: Because I know that YOU (and I) are who and what we are for one and/or two reasons: 1) We have a REASON and/or 2) we have NO CHOICE for being who or what we are.

Now my joke:

How many shrinks does it take to make a gay guy turn strait?

Answer: Only one, but he has to really want to change!

A guy walked into a bar with a parrot on his head.

"How are you, Harry?" the bartender asked.

"Oh, Im doing okay, Dave", replied the parrot.

On the first day of school, the first grade teacher was trying to get to know her students.

She asked one little guy in bib overalls, "Do you know your ABC's, Johnny?

The little guy exclaimed, "Hell no! I've only been here half an hour!"

NONO ~

Thank you for the congrats. Your turn is coming, you know! And I will be glad to see your name posted as the winner you are!

royalblush

ORANGIE ~

Now this is MY KIND of contest!

I just wish I could be there to hear you laugh and watch you pee in your pants!

royalblush

My dear RoyalBlush, I am sure that is what every Crusher wants to see................me pee my pants. Oh my ....... roflmaooooooooooooo

Great Jokes RoyalBlush, keep them coming!

Good Luck Crushers!

Happy Gaming Always!

OrangeCrush

WTG Royal...I was LMAO!!! I love to laugh!! Thanks

Another nice one.. though I may have to watch my back from now on.. (Working in the computer business as I do)


A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position in Seatle.

The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

No Offense to those living in the south.. I lived there for years...


After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.

The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me"

So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion.

The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherrybomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

Mean little toddler says to mother, "But, Momma, I don't know how to swim!"

Mean mother says, "Shut up or I'll flush it again!"

Gee, thanks, Beckie! What a surprise that post was! And -- it tickled me to death! Nothing like peer approval, huh?

Speaking of which, I always particularly like your posts!

royalblush

And ORANGIE ~ You are an angel for encouraging me! OR...is it a devil for egging me on? LOL

Thanks a LOT to CC and all its "top brass" people for the WIN! I can use it since I am more and more spending time at CC and less and less working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

royalblush

WTG & Congrats RoyalOne! Enjoy your win!!!

Crushers, keep the jokes coming! They've been GREAT!!!

Happy gaming always,

LadyCrush