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Friday 29th Mar 2024 07:21 (EST)
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2 x $5 prizes - contest ends December 25th 2018
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crushadmin
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Posted:
Sun Dec 16, 2018 10:43 pm Best Christmas Jokes Contest - December 16th-25th 2018 |
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win4maw
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:59 am (No subject) |
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mlj774
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 1:53 am (No subject) |
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kaska321
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 3:51 am (No subject) |
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dbonkers
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:13 am (No subject) |
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mlj774
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 1:34 pm (No subject) |
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win4maw
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 2:06 pm (No subject) |
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anneandalan
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 5:33 pm (No subject) |
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NonoNanette
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 6:55 pm (No subject) |
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Jennifer was a pretty 18 year old girl. In the week before Christmas she sauntered up to the curtain counter, and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. Finally, she made her choice and asked the young man who was manning the fabric section. 'How much is this gold tinsel garland'.
The fellow pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the counter and said, 'This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre'.
'Wow, that's great', said Jennifer, 'I'll take 12 metres'.
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel, wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer.
She then called to an old man who had been browsing through the Christmas trees and said, 'My Grandpa will settle the bill.'
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mlj774
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:55 pm (No subject) |
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Shirlsplay
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Mon Dec 17, 2018 10:05 pm (No subject) |
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win4maw
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Tue Dec 18, 2018 2:46 am (No subject) |
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It was slightly before Thanksgiving. The trip went reasonably well, and I was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, I was not in a particularly good mood. Going to check in my luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), I saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointier parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way. With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, I said to the attendant, "Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe." "Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is." (pause) "Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss." "That's not why it's there." (pause) "Ok, I give up. Why is it there?" "It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye."
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mlj774
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Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:25 am (No subject) |
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NonoNanette
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Tue Dec 18, 2018 6:16 am (No subject) |
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On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be'
Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, 'How about some perfume?' She showed him a bottle costing $150
'Too expensive,' muttered Nathan.
The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for $100. 'Oh dear,' Nathan groused, 'still far too much.'
Growing rather annoyed at Nathan's meanness, the sales girl brought out a tiny $15 bottle and offered it to him.
Nathan became really agitated, 'What I mean', he whined, 'is I'd like to see something really cheap.'
So the sales girl handed him a mirror.
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Shirlsplay
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Posted:
Tue Dec 18, 2018 9:41 am (No subject) |
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Best Christmas Jokes Contest - December 16th-25th 2018, Past Contests / Winners - No Deposit Casino Bonus Forum
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