Christmas Contest Day #26 - Christmas Jokes CLOSED

Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2017 4:34 pm (No subject)

The Christmas Tree

The real trick isn't picking the right tree. It's getting it inside your home. But with our 15-point plan, you'll be trimming in no time.

1)Cut the cords that bind the tree to the roof of your car. Allow them to snap back and strike you in the eye.

2)Curse

3)Slowly pull the tree toward you.

4)Wobble under its weight for a few seconds, then fall down.

5)Curse

6)Stand up and notice the fresh scratches on the roof of your car.

7)Curse

8)Drag the tree to your front door. Spend 15 minutes figuring out how to open the door while simultaneously getting the tree through it.

9)Drag the tree away from the door so that you can enter with the tree facing the right direction.

10)Once inside, fill the tree stand with water.

11)Knock all the water out of the tree stand because you forgot to wait to fill the tree stand until after putting the tree in it.

12)Curse

13)Your tree should no be in the stand. Notice the fallen needles that have reduced your tree to half the size it was when you bought it.

14)Down seven cups of eggnog to settle your nerves.

15)Slur your curses

Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2017 5:33 pm (No subject)

DEAR SANTA,
WHEN YOU ARRIVE ON CHRISTMAS EVE,
COULD YOU PLEASE THROW A QUICK LOAD
IN THE WASHER, VACUUM A COUPLE CARPETS
AND WASH YOUR COOKIE DISHES ?
THANKS! Laughing

Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:52 am (No subject)

How come you never hear about the reindeer named Olive?

You know..."Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."

Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 1:15 am (No subject)

What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle

Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 2:27 am (No subject)

FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

1. YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS

2. YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS

3. YOU ARE SANTA CLAUS

4. YOU LOOK LIKE SANTA CLAUS...LOL

Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 3:00 am (No subject)

True LOL

What is the best Christmas present in the world? 

A broken drum, you just can't beat it!

Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 3:32 am (No subject)

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU!

JUST KIDDING....
I SENT YOU MY LIST. Laughing

Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 7:34 am (No subject)

Dear Crushers, I loved this contest!!! It had me giggling a LOT lol.

Thank you all for entering it.

Geno asked that I closed this contest so I had Barry read thru the jokes and pick his favorite, then pick a winner from a random drawing.

The winners of this contest are:

Sammy Joke ... NonoNanette $5.00 for 500 cc points

Random Drawing prize winner ... kaska321 $1.00 for 100 cc points

Congratulations Ladies!!!

Happy Gaming Always,

Oc Wink